How love goes
by 15weeks
Summary: Malex fic. Done from both points of view, love story. Based on real life experiences of mine, may be only loosely related to OC! My take on how they could have got together, explores their feelings.
1. Chapter 1

Italics – alex's point of view. I just had to write something. It's very short I know, but I know where I'm going with it. Next chapter will be much longer. Just want to know if I should continue.

I don't own any characters, bla bla bla.

Let me know what anyone thinks.

_Always thinking about her. God I'm always thinking about her. Her gorgeous brown eyes, her silky smooth skin, the way her eyes shine with life when she laughs. My heart longs for her love. How can one person be so perfect? How come I've fallen for the one person I'll never have any chance of being with? I feel like the luckiest person alive to say that I am her friend, but I feel cursed with these feelings that will never be reciprocated. In my dreams we laugh, we talk, we live like we are lovers. I wish my dreams were true. _

"Hey" her voice ripples through me causing waves of passion in my veins, ending at my heart which stutters at the sound of her beautiful voice. I open the door and lead her inside. As she walks past me the most amazing smell graces my senses. Her smell. _It reminds me of happiness, life, love. It intoxicates me, so addictive._

"I'm sooo tired!" Marissa exclaims as she flops down on my bed. I take a moment to compose myself, control my heart beat as I carefully lower myself onto the bed next to her.

"What's up?" I ask, getting lost in her wonderful brown eyes. _I'd do anything for you. _

"I've been shopping all day, god I got all this stuff! Are we going out or what?"

"Yep, I want to take you somewhere."

"Oooh intruiging. Come on then."

She grabs my arm and entwines her fingers through mine. My heart beats uncontrollably fast as she leads us to my car.

_If only she knew what she was doing to me. I never want to let go. Her hand, so soft I want to take care of it, take care of her forever._

_I'm in love with Marissa Cooper, this could be a problem. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Chap 2_

I keep changing POV in this chapter, the bold says who it is. If it's confusing please let me know!

**Marissa**

_This feels nice. Woah, why I am thinking that? It's just her hand…it feels so…so…right? Hmm odd, I've never noticed that before. Maybe my hand is cold, and hers is warm. My hands are normally cold. Yes, yeah that's what it is. Anyway, wonder where she's taking me? _

**Alex**

As we step out of the door, the ice cold wind whips at our faces. I feel her shiver and grip her hand more tightly. The wind catches her scarf and once again that intoxicating scent fills my nostrils. The walk down the drive comprises of brisk shivering steps, as we reach the car I reluctantly prize my hand from her delicate fingers and grab my keys. A sudden chill runs through my body as I lose the warmth of her touch.

Her phone buzzes as we gladly climb into the warm car. A sudden pang of jealousy shoots through my body. _God, what is that? Why am I so jealous? I bet it's summer. She is allowed to text her you know, she is her best friend. I know, I know. But I still feel jealous. What if that text is more interesting that what we're doing? What if Marissa suddenly sees that she would rather be with Summer than me. What if I lose her? No, stop being stupid Alex. That's really stupid. _

I do my best to push my jealousy aside as I start the engine.

"So where we going?" Her brown eyes sparkle as she asks the question, her beautiful face, soft features, illuminated by the nearby street light. _Wow she is beautiful. _

"Ah…you'll see!" I pull my gaze from her and concentrate on forming the answer with my lips. _Be normal. Be normal._

As we begin to drive we chat about our day and I relax considerably. _We're just friends out having a good time. No worries. _

By the time we pull into the makeshift car park in a muddy field, I'm almost completely relaxed. _This is why I love spending time with her so much. God she's funny and interesting. I'm so lucky._

I pull up next to blue people carrier and turn the engine off.

"Halloween party thing?!" Marissa looks at me with questioning eyes as she takes in the scenery around us. A large open field packed with people milling around with candyfloss and silly costumes. A large illuminated pumpkin sits menacingly on the grass next to, oddly, a huge bonfire roaring out much needed warmth. A few small fun fair rides blare out annoying, yet oddly cheery music, emitting the odd scream. A large area is separated off by a fence, around which the majority of people are gathered.

"What's everyone looking at? By that fence?" Marissa points toward the gathering of people.

"I dunno, let's go find out."

We carefully pick our way through the muddy terrain towards the fenced off area.

A tall, greasy looking man lurches suddenly towards us, spilling his lager as he gets closer.

"Hey babies….woah…hey…yeah….I do luuurrvvee your scc..sc..arf. Scarf."

His free hand clutches my scarf and he begins to pull. I can smell the alcohol on his breath and his face is close enough for me to see his dirty stubble and dried lips. Just as I'm about to react, Marissa's hand lashes out and makes contact with his dirt ridden cheek. I'm completely taken aback, I stand in shock for a moment as I watch his reaction.

"Woah…calm down missy…I'll give you yours later." The man grins, revealing several rotting teeth and too many gaps to count.

"No thanks, leave us alone." Marissa's tone is harsh and final. I've never heard her speak like that before. The man waddles off, chuckling to himself. I stand with a look of awe on my face.

"What?" she asks, seeing my face. "I wasn't going to let him hurt you." She strokes my arm as she entwines her arm around mine.

"It was only my scarf."

_I wasn't expecting that. God that's strange, I've never had anyone stick up for me before like that. _

**Marissa**

_I don't care. God I really don't . The sight of that stupid drunken man going for Alex got to me. I know it was only a scarf, but I couldn't let him touch her. I really couldn't. The thought of him hurting her…doesn't bear thinking about. I can't believe how much I care. Why is she so shocked? I would do anything for her. Wow I really would, I've never felt this before. I don't want Alex to be shocked, I want her to know I would do anything for her._

**Alex**

We walked on to the gathering of people in silence, both seemingly lost in our thoughts. I'm wondering what Marissa's thinking. I would give anything to know.

"Fireworks!" Marissa suddenly exclaims.

"Oh yea, you're right. I guess they're setting them off behind this fence."

As we both crane our necks to get a better view, two people saunter in front of us. At first I barely notice them, they're just two people blocking the view. On second glance I see it's a couple, holding hands. Two men.

_I wish that was us. _I'm thinking. _I would be so proud to hold Marissa's hand like that in front of all these people. No, stop thinking that. It'll only hurt more in the long run. I have to just be her friend and be there for her right now. I've got to stop thinking about her like this, it's only going to drive me insane. But I love her so much. It doesn't matter, stop thinking like that or you'll lose her. God I can't lose her. She's my world, my best friend. Am I hers? Probably not. Summer. I wonder if she replied to that text. Those jealous feelings are coming back. Stop it. But I want us to be a couple, I want us to be close. Stop thinking it. She doesn't feel the same way._

**Marissa**

_A gay couple, haven't seen many of them around here. They're holding hands…how sweet. I wonder if they're warming each others hands up like Alex was to mine. Woah, did I just think that? I really like the feeling of her hand around mine, I felt safe, protected. That's it. Nothing else. No, nothing else. I didn't feel anything else. Did I? No I couldn't have done. She's gay, but I'm not. Stop thinking it, I'm not thinking anything. What if I'm attracted to her? No I'm not. I can't be. She doesn't like me like that anyway. She said so. She said I was a great friend the other day. FRIEND. Totally platonic, like me and Summer. But I feel differently around Alex. Sometimes I get butterflies, like today before I came to her house. That was just because I didn't know where she was taking me. Excitement. I think. Must be. What's going on with my head? I'm not attracted to Alex, no way, at all, in any way shape or form. Decided. Mmmm what's that smell on the breeze? I like it…kinda like peaches with something else. Where's it coming from?_

I turn and look at Alex and watch as she finishes removing her scarf and re warps it around her neck. The smell intensifies as Alex wafts the scarf in the air to 'get rid of that man's greasy grease off his fingers' as she tells me.

_I love her smell. Oh shit._


	3. Chapter 3

Hi just a quick update. Sorry if it's a bit short and uneventful but I want to get across their feelings. Next chapter will be the real pivotal one I promise!! Hope you enjoy!

**Alex**

_Why is she looking at me funny? She looks scared, what's wrong with her? I hope I haven't done anything._

"What's up?" I ask as calmly as I can but my heart is pounding, I can't bear the thought that I've made her scared.

"What? Nothing, I'm fine, it's just cold isn't it?" As she answers, I feel her warmth grace my body once again, her arm wrapped around mine. I feel her shiver and without thinking I begin to rub her arm with my free hand. As I touch her, I noticed her look at me for a split second. I didn't catch the look in her eye. _Oh shit, I shouldn't have done that. She's probably freaked out now. Alex, you idiot! You can't go around stroking your friend's arm randomly! Keep doing stuff like that and she'll catch on. Stop it!_

I quickly snatch my hand from her arm and wrap it around my waist.

**Marissa**

_Woah, her touch sends shivers down my spine. How weird's that?! I love the feeling of her warmth, I'm noticing her smell. I like it. Why has she taken her hand away, I liked her stroking me. Do I have feelings for her? God I don't know. This is so confusing. She doesn't even like me anyway, she took her hand away. What if I did like her like her? Would that be wrong? I guess it's not that wrong, she's gay but I'm not. So how does this work? God, all I know is I need this girl. I love spending time with this girl._

**Alex**

The rest of the night was spent laughing and joking with a great deal of shivering! After standing by the fence near the fireworks for half an hour, we decided it was too cold and headed back to my car to watch the fireworks show in the relative warmth.

Just as we got into the car and shut the doors, the fireworks started to go off. Sitting in the drivers seat, I had to lean over towards Marissa and crane my neck to see the pretty patterns in the sky as my view was blocked by the divide of the window. Marissa started to laugh as she realised my problem.

Suddenly I felt a gloved hand cover my eyes,

"Hey!" I exclaimed to the beautiful sound of Marissa's laughter, "Now I really can't see!"

"Aww bless!" She mocked, still covering my eyes.

I reached up and pulled her hand off my face, our fingers entwined and we sat for a moment, looking into eachothers eyes.

_Oh wow, she's gorgeous. I want to hold her hand forever. I can feel myself getting lost in her gaze. Why is she still looking at me? Her eyes are conveying a sense of confusion. What's she confused about? What if she likes me too? She can't. No way. But she's still looking. Her eyes still deeply penetrating into mine, like she's trying to work out what I'm thinking. I wonder what she's thinking?_

**Marissa**

_Wow, she's beautiful. I've never noticed her eyes before, sharp yet beautifully soft. Why can't I stop staring? Why can't I pull away my gaze? I like the way she's looking at me, with compassion and…concern? A bit of confusion? God I'm confused. I think maybe I like her. I like her hand in mine. I wish I wasn't wearing gloves. I never thought I'd think that when it's so cold tonight. But does she like me? Why would she? Well she's not letting go of my hand, she's not looking away. How long can we sit like this? Why does it feel so nice? Alex Kelly, I think I'm falling for you._


	4. Chapter 4

**Alex**

_Oh wow, this is amazing. Feeling her body pressed against mine, my arms around her like I've dreamed of doing. Her smell is awakening my senses and I'm in bliss. This is unbelievable. I feel so warm, so safe, so comfortable. I absolutely love the feeling of having her in my arms. I love the warm sensations tingling through my body. I love the beat of my heart as it races through my chest. I love that I can feel her heart racing too. I love her._

We're lying on my bed, our arms wrapped tightly around eachother. Her head is resting in the crook of my neck. I can feel her warmth. Our bodies are pressed together and I am in heaven.

We got back from the Halloween party and sat and laughed on my bed for a while. Marissa started it,

"I can't believe just a few months ago we didn't even know eachother!"

"I know it's so wrong, I can't imagine not knowing you."

"Me neither. You have to be in my life, you just have to be!"

That's when she leaned in for a hug and half an hour and many sweet words later, here we are. Tangled together in ecstacy.

**Marissa**

_Oh wow this is so comfortable. So comfortable. We've been lying here for ages. Ah I don't care, this feels so nice. She's so warm. My head on her chest, it fits. Perfectly. I love it. I love having her this close. I want her closer. How could I want her closer? I've never felt anything like this before. What's this? I can't be falling for her. But I am. But I can't. She's a girl. So? So? She's a girl, it's not right. Why does it feel so right? Stop thinking. It's too nice. Enjoy it. Worry about it later. It feels so good, so just do it. Nothing wrong with a hug. No. Nothing wrong with a hug._

**Alex**

_Her heart really is beating fast. I can feel it. Or is that just mine? No, I think it's hers. Why's hers beating fast? Maybe she likes me. Maybe. What if I just move my head. What if our noses touch? What if I just brush my lips with hers?_

I slowly move my head. We're facing each other. I swear I feel her heart speed up a couple of beats. I lean my head towards hers and our cheeks brush. I feel her warm, smooth, gorgeous skin and it sends familiar tingles through my body. Our faces continue to press against one another. I tilt my head and relax it on the pillow. Our lips are millimetres apart now, I can feel her breath on my lips. I close my eyes and bask in the smell, the feel, the essence of her.

_She's not pulling away. She's not pulling away. Graze, go on, graze…_

I very carefully move my head just an inch. Our lips touch for a brief moment, so softly. My heart is pounding.

_This is it. This is it. She's actually going to kiss you. Oh my god._

She's turned her head. She's turned her head away. My lips are now resting on the side of her face.

_Oh shit I've freaked her out. Oh God why could I be so stupid to think she actually likes me!! Alex!!! I hope she didn't notice anything I hope to god she didn't notice anything!! You idiot, Alex. You idiot._

**Marissa**

_Did she just try to kiss me? What that a graze? What was that? Why did I turn away? What if it wasn't what I thought. I couldn't just go and kiss her, although it might be nice…my head is so confused. Would I kiss her? Would I kiss her? Maybe…I want to see what it's like. Maybe I've blown it. She tried to kiss me and I didn't do anything. Maybe she didn't try to kiss me at all. Maybe she doesn't even like me. I don't know what to think, it's easier to lie here and not think. Maybe she will try again…I know I care more about her than any friend I've ever had. Even Summer. I care about Summer, but I feel differently about Alex. Somehow. In a way. Yeah, I'm falling for her. I really think I am. God this is so confusing._


	5. Chapter 5

**Alex**

_Watching her laugh, seeing her gorgeous smile lighting up the room, my heart. The best part about her smile right now is knowing that I created it. I made her laugh. Unbelievable how such a small thing can make me so happy. I feel fuzzy all over, I'm happy, content, sitting her on her bed laughing about the most random things. We haven't talked about the lip graze. Hasn't been mentioned. I was worried I'd freaked her out, but ever since then we've seemed to be getting closer. It's all been normal and we've been getting along great. I think she was just really tired. Really, really tired. She didn't know what was going on or she would have pulled away. I guess I'll just have to learn to live with this ache in my heart._

**Marissa**

_She can really make me laugh, I'm so happy right now. I feel so comfortable, like I'm supposed to be sitting here with her, like this is THE reason for living. To be here, with her. This is so weird. She's a girl. So what? Who cares? It feels right, what else matters? But she's a girl. I'm straight. I'm not the kind of girl who does things like this. Forget about it, just forget about it. We had a weird thing a couple weeks ago, nothing happened. Nothing's going to happen. Just leave it be._

"Woah, I hadn't noticed the time, midnight. I should go." The words painfully left Alex's lips, she didn't want to leave her place or the happiness she found in Marissa's company.

"Aaww do you have to go? Stay! Go, on stay!" Playfully Marissa tried to tempt Alex to stay the night. _No, no don't go. I need her to stay, I don't want her to leave me now. I'm so comfortable, so happy, so content. Please say yes. Please say yes._

**Alex**

_Stay the night? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes a million times YES!!!!!! I want to talk to you some more, I want to be able to study your gorgeous features a while longer._

"Are you sure?" Alex asked, keeping her voice calm despite the excitement bubbling inside her.

"Of course! I don't want you to leave." Marissa surprised herself with the truthful words that came out of her mouth, and was surprised how easy they were to say and how right they sounded. "But you'll have to share my bed because there's nowhere else for you to sleep." Marissa's heart skipped a beat as she finished that last sentence. _God I actually want her to sleep next to me, I want to feel her warmth right next to me, to be able to hold her. Bloody hell. Ignore it._

"No problem." Alex didn't know how she managed to make those two words sound so normal. _Oh wow this gets better. Relax, don't do anything stupid like last time._

After changing into their PJs, Marissa climbed into her bed, followed closely by Alex. Immediately they wrapped their arms around each other and held one another in a tight embrace.

Hours ticked away with deep conversation and gentle laughing.

**Alex**

_Wow this is so amazing lying here with her. It must be really late, like 4am. I think she's awake too, I saw her beautiful eyelid open for a moment. She's hugging me tighter, running her hands up and down my back. Does she know what she's doing to me? Wow. _

**Marissa**

_I want her closer. Dunno why. Just do. Closer. She's warm and smells nice. Whatever, I just want her closer. _

Alex moved slightly to get her body nearer to Marissa, she could sense Marissa wanted her closer. Alex's head rested once again perfectly in line with Marissa's, their lips within touching distance. As Alex very slowly and carefully edged towards Marissa's lips, Marissa did not back off.

**Alex**

_She's not backing off again, I'm going for it this time. I can just say I was tired if it doesn't work out._

As Alex's lips delicately touched Marissa's, Marissa thought for a moment, _Oh her lips. Her lips. I like it. Kiss her. Kiss her. Go on. Her smell, her smile, her lips…_

As their lips crashed together, both girls were elated to a place neither thought they'd ever be.

**Alex**

_Oh my god! She's kissing me!!!!! WOW!! _

**Marissa**

_Mmmm this feels so good, unbelievable. _

Both girls enjoyed the moment. Marissa shifted her weight so that her leg was between Alex's. Not needing further invitation, Alex began to grind against Marissa's leg. All the while not quite believing what was happening.

After some time both girls stopped and tiredness took over their minds. Alex's filled with disbelief, Marissa's filled with confusion and awe.

Early morning light streamed in through the curtains. Alex awoke feeling slightly dazed, fitting the pieces together of what happened the night before. _Was it a dream? Did that really happen? I hope it wasn't a dream, I HAVE to say something!_

On seeing Marissa sweetly open her beautiful brown eyes, Alex took her chance,

"Do we need to talk?"


End file.
